The right sales goal can help you overcome fear of sales

Do you need to ‘sell’ something to people you do or do not yet know?

This could be your skills on the job market.
This could be your research at a conference.
This could be the service or products of your business.
This could be the cause that you would like people to support through donations or volunteering.

Do you have a ‘sales’ goal that you’re not meeting yet?

This month, I had the obvious realization that to achieve more sales, we need more sales interactions – see “The Paper Click Trick” in Atomic Habits – motivating me to have more sales interactions (and write a post about it on LinkedIn).

Then I realized that I faced two objections that were stopping me from having more sales interactions.

Both objections were in my head. They are what I think people will say when I make them an offer for coaching, specifically:
1) “It’s too expensive,” AND
2) “Coaching is bullshit”

Seriously, I talked to my coach about this, and this is what I said to her when she asked me what I was fearing, and we had an excellent session where I unpacked how I would handle such objections.

Within the week, advice began falling out of the sky from three(3) sources. The first two were in others’ newsletters.

1) Find out what the real objection is

Speaking to objection 1, about price, Tim Brownson a.k.a. the “Fully Booked Coach”, tells us in this 1‑minute video exactly what question to ask your counterpart to find out if they are really objecting to the price: “Would you hire me if the price were OK?”

If they say “Yes,” you will learn that you have a pricing problem for this counterpart.

If they say “Uh,”, “er”… “I’m not sure,” you will learn that there’s another objection and we need to find out what that is.

Price is an ‘easy out’ – it may be easier for some people to say that than to voice their real objections.

It you really want an honest conversation and ultimately a more honest relationship with this counterpart though, invite them, without judgement, to tell you what their issue really is.

2) Sales as a service

So what if I hear objection 2 – someone really does tell me “Coaching is bullshit?”

Well, that would make me very curious about why we were having this conversation in the first place.

Say the conversation is continuing anyway, no one is storming off in disgust, what’s the next best way to continue?

Guidance came to me from another newsletter of Ben Dean, Ph.D., founder of MentorCoach LLC, where he describes the term “servant marketing”.

“Servant marketing” applies the concept of “servant leadership” coined by Robert Greenleaf (famous 1970 essay) to marketing.

"Servant Marketing" means to view “the activity of marketing as being primarily about serving the world” and to serve “the universe of your prospects as if they were already your clients--even though most of them will never become your clients.”

It means to engage in marketing activities that focus on helping your prospects first and attracting them to become clients second. “Sales as a service” is the closely related sales version of this work.

“Servant marketing” and “sales as a service” are exceptionally freeing because “you will almost never fail” if your activities are designed with the goal to help anyone who interacts with you, whether it’s through a newsletter, email, text, call, or face-to-face conversation.

No approach to marketing and sales is guaranteed to result in new clients, but you can always make your approach helpful.

There is a prerequisite though. For your servant marketing to work, you have to believe that what you are ‘selling’ is beneficial, and that people can benefit just from connecting with you about it.

For coaching, Dean points out, this means “you know it in your bones” that “coaching is a beneficial, potentially life-changing service.”

Whatever it is you are selling, you have to believe that it’s beneficial in order for the sales process itself to be a service.

So if I really believe coaching to be beneficial – which I do from all of my work with 50+ coaches and 50+ coachees over the past 4 years, what is the voice in my head who is asking “what if they think coaching is bullshit” really afraid of?

3) Fear

The answer emerged in a conversation with a fellow coach. They have a very different background from mine, lots more coaching experience, and they’re also building a young business.

I asked them, “Which marketing strategy do you use the most?”

The response was, “I talk to people. I talk to a hundred people, perhaps 20 follow up, perhaps 5 sign up.”

Like the “Paper Clip Strategy,” I thought.

Then the most important comment came, “I’m not afraid to look like an ass in front of people.”

I giggled, then I realized, that is exactly how I want to feel.

I want to feel unafraid to say something that I know has value, even if others might disagree. If it is important, helpful, or at least interesting, that value can only be realized if it is shared.

As I wrote this, one of the best books I’ve read about business came to mind: “Getting Naked: A Business Fable About Shedding the Three Fears that Sabotage Client Loyalty,” by Patrick Lencioni.

I, like many many business people, consultants, coaches…people who want to get hired … harbor fears in three areas that Lencioni unpacks in his book – fear of being embarrassed, fear of feeling inferior, and fear of losing the business.

Any one of these fears can creep into our psyche, shaping our behaviors, stopping us from providing excellent service, ultimately sabotaging client loyalty.

Wow, it seems pretty important to overcome these fears! How can we do that?

Business consultant Leena M provides a beautiful graphic summary in her summary of the book on Medium.

They include:

• Ask dumb questions
• Make dumb suggestions
• Celebrate your mistakes
• Tell the kind truth, even if it’s difficult
• Enter the danger – state the obvious that others are afraid to name
• Make everything about the client
• Honor the client’s work
• Admit your limitations and weaknesses
• Always consult instead of sell

All of these practices build trust, and all of them fall under one big umbrella: vulnerability.

Vulnerability means “embracing humility, selflessness, and transparency for the good of the client.”

In marketing and sales, we’ll never fail in our strategy to help others if helping others is the first goal of our strategy.

There’s a small protective voice in my mind itching to object. I won’t elaborate now, but if some of what you have read here feels counterintuitive and you’re disagreeing, you’re not alone.

Another mindset I can share is: we’ll never fail to help the type of people we want to help through these practices.

We may discover big red flags along the way, and when we do, perhaps that’s not our match and we can redirect our efforts to people with higher potential to receive value from us.


Over to you – three free questions you can use to coach yourself:

1) What is something you need to ‘sell’?
This could be your skills on the job market.
This could be your research at a conference.
This could be the service or products of your business.
This could be the cause that you would like people to support through donations or volunteering.


2) How might someone benefit from interacting with you about what you are ‘selling’?


3) What is a simple action you can take within the next week to help you have the ‘sales’ interactions you need to have?

Ready to have a conversation with me? Fill out the contact form and you will hear from us very soon!